dogalyst:

Why do i get so flustered around cute boys? It’s like i forget that all men are beneath me

reallyreallyreallytrying:

mystic-bullshitt:

reallyreallyreallytrying:

people say dolphins are smart but there not smart enough to not be Shity grey rubber tubes flappin about in the gotdamn ocean

*they’re

congratulations! you are the piss lord of shit mountain. thank u for hefting turds down the mountainside so that we, the proles, may feast on your bounteous craps

shutdowning:

me:

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you:

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meeting Jesus in the afterlife
jesus: i have the answer to all of humanities questions
me: what does cr1tikal look like